UPDATE: Our source article was DEAD WRONG 
, effectively rendering this article moot. Freakin’ Brits. If you can’t trust em’ to get the breaking news on the NFL right, what the hell are they good for?
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Ever-reliable source of NFL and College Footall News ThisIsLondon.co.uk is reporting that Georgia Tech head coach Chan Gailey will be introduced as the new coach of the Miami Dolphins on Friday. Should that turn out to be true, Bobby Bowden will likely poop his pants. More than he usually does in the course of a given day, we mean. His newly acquired offensive coordinator is sure to be near the top of the Yellow Jackets’ wish list, and could be bolting Tallahassee without ever calling a play.
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We thought maybe it was his track record. Or maybe his knowledge of the game or his offensive philosophy. Or the fact he, too, has a head not suited for wearing white caps with high fronts.
Alas, it was none of these things. A single quote from Gary Crowton’s introductory press conference at LSU explains everything. It’s all so clear now.
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Well Tiger fans, if Bo Pelini bails on us, you can forget about bringing former LSU head coach Mike “The Mustache” Archer back to Baton Rouge to replace him. Alas, the dream is over.
Scout.com is reporting that the hideously hairlipped journeyman assistant, who was most recently defensive coordinator under Rich Brooks for the Kentucky Wildcats, will now be running the defense for the North Carolina State Wolfpack.
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Nope, we’re not kidding.
Per the Miami Herald, (the citing of which is sort of but not exactly like kidding), freshly ousted Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Mike Shula has had not one but two interviews for the Miami Dolphins head coaching job. You know, the very job vacated by Jesus H. “Nick” Saban, who took Shula’s job at Alabama.
That’s just messed up right there. Miami hiring Mike Shula would be dumber than green bean casserole without those little fried onions from a can on top.
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Oregon Ducks offensive coordinator Gary Crowton will replace Jimbo Fisher in the same capacity at LSU. This should dispel concerns by some (read: Jimmy Ott) that Les Miles seeks to run an old school, conservative, pound it up the middle style offense. It also makes us feel a little better about LSU’s commitment to keeping a top-tier coaching staff rather than going cheap and promoting some unknown assistant from within.
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